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Monday, October 24, 2005

I Know God, We Had A Deal

I made a deal with God over a week ago. If he would help me out with something, I would do something for Him. For some reason he decided to bless me with understanding. You can say yeah right, but I know that he did. Before this last deal, I made one with Him that I would listen to Him, which I broke, which is why I made the new deal. It helps when you make a deal with God to be specific. Don't say, "you help me out with everything in my life, and I'll listen to you". If you do make that deal, you'd better listen to him. His end of the deal is easy. He's God, remember.

Anyway, back to the deal I made. I told him that I would talk to Him out loud everyday. Not on my knees praying, but walking around, sitting at my desk, doing whatever I was doing and talking to Him like I had a friend that was sitting there watching me. He decided to let me know loud and clear that we had basically spit and shook hands on that one.

The first day that I forgot, it seemed a whole lot like he cleared his throat and cocked his eyebrow at me. I jumped up, looked at the clock...1:46 a.m....damn, it's already tomorrow, so I whispered real quick, "I'm sorry, thank you for holding up your end of the deal and I'm so sorry I forgot, I promise I'll do better tomorrow." I swear I heard him say "you're whispering."

About a week ago, I was thinking about chain reactions and how one life changing event could affect everyone's life around you. I figured that it affected people around you that you didn't even know, but I'd never even realized until today that a stranger's "unfortunate event" would affect my life and hers. I'd also forgot that I'd asked God for someone like her too. And of course, I had to be reminded that I'd asked. By no means am I saying be careful what you wish for. Sometimes you're in your right senses when you ask God for something and he waits until you're not, to give you what you asked for so it will bring you back to your senses. He must know what He's doing because it feels kind of like when someone apologizes to you by giving you flowers and you know you're the one who should be apologizing.

I've noticed these days that it doesn't take near as long for Him to answer as it use to. I sit here thinking about how many times I screamed at Him because He "let something happen". I also remember, very humble and very sorry I might add, that he has continuously given me everything I've asked for and most of things He gave me I didn't even have to ask Him for directly. Whenever I needed something, I would always tell my mother. My mother would always tell me that God loves me so much that He would give me anything my heart desired, all I had to do was ask him. Stupid me just figured out what I should have known all along. What shouldn't have taken me this long to figure out, if I would have just listened to Him like I said I would...over 2 years ago. The closer you get to God, the less you have to feel like you're hollering out to Him somewhere way out in outer space.

A couple of days after He gently reminded me of our deal, I forgot again. I hadn't seen my new next door neighboor in a couple of days so I went next door to check on her. She was getting ready to pull out of her driveway and stopped when she saw me walking towards her house. As she rolled down her window I hollered that I was just checking to see if she needed anything and I was just making sure she was okay. She said she was good and wondered what I was doing later. Of course I said I wasn't doing anything and she asked me to come to church with her. I could have sworn I saw God grining from ear to ear and laughing to himself. Especially after I said, "ummm...I told ya I really don't like going to church, it's not that I won't, I just don't like too." They must have trained her well at Bible College. Needless to say I was sitting three pews from the back with her a couple hours later AND he made sure that I was going to talk to him, this time on my knees, out loud AND in front of someone I'd just met. Well, I decided that since he was going to make sure that I talked to him that day, I was going to ask Him for something for her. After all, I didn't know any of the people on the prayer list that I guess we were supposed to be praying for. When the pastor said for everybody to get on their knees and pray with the person beside you, pretty much everything else he said came out blah, blah, blah, because I was picking my chin up off the floor. She prayed for every single one of the people on the list and not once did she ask for anything for herself before she said, "OK, your turn" and added, "You don't have to if you don't want to". I don't know that anybody would have known to ask God for the same thing for her as I did if I wouldn't have been there.

What amazes me is that when He asks you for something, it's totally your choice whether you do it or not. He doesn't threaten you with do this or else. Well, let's just say that I haven't had it happen to me yet, nor do I want it to. I did end up committing myself to going to church with my friend for a while AND THEN even reassured Him that I would do it. I try so hard to keep my word. Too often I get sidetracked and forget. The key to making me keep my word I think is to make me say I promise. I'm trying to remember anytime I've said I promise when it's been something really important and I haven't kept my word. My mom could probably come up with a few times. Hopefully she forgives me. Hmmm...I wonder sometimes if she gave up waiting on me and asked God to deal with me. I think He gave her his phone number and she's got it on speed dial. Of course, he'd probably give it to anybody that would ask, but we'd still forget it was there for us to use. Anyway, I promised my friend that I would go to church with her for what I thought was going to be a couple more times. Well, that's what I get for again not being specific. I was a little specific, I didn't promise that I would go to Sunday School, just to the church services.

We had planned that I would meet her at church after Sunday School was over. The church is not very far from my house, and I thought I knew exactly how to get there. On the way, I realized I didn't know where it was and I was running late. I came to a small grocery store that was closed and there was a girl standing up against her car by the pay phone. I pulled in the parking lot, rolled down my window and asked her if she knew where the church was. She shook her head and said she knew she had seen it, but couldn't remember exactly where to even point me in the right direction. I waved and said thank you and then pulled back out on the street going the opposite direction of the church. Then I remembered I had a phone book in my car and looked up the address. Knowing that the street was definitely the other way, I decided to turn around and go back to the store parking lot to look at the map to find it. As I got close to the store, the girl had gotten in her car and was getting ready to pull out onto the road. She rolled down her window and hollered, "I remember where it is, follow me".

Less than five minutes later I was sitting in the very back of the church in a chair by myself and had been told that no one had seen my friend walk in. As I sat there I remembered the pastor's sermon the Wednesday night before about God humbling us and how thankful I was then that God has never came and spoke to me out of a whirlwind. I might as well been sitting in the very front row in the middle of the isle because I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. However, instead of sitting there and pouting I submitted to being humbled and he gave me something I'd asked for. He gave me confirmation that I had been hearing Him talk to me.

At the end of the service, one of the ushers pointed my friend out to me. She had been there the whole time and thought I hadn't showed. Me and my big mouth said, "I promised you I would be here". She reminded me that she would see me again at 6 p.m. that night. Out of habit I ran through a list in my head of things I had to do, trying to find an excuse not to be there, and of course I couldn't find one, which I then decided was a good thing. I even showed up 15 minutes early for the Sunday night service.

To my surprise, my youngest daughter wanted to go with me. Her whole attitude from the time we walked in was so different from what I expected from her. Usually, she is shy about meeting new people, but from the moment that people started greeting her she seemed to get more and more excited with each one she met. It was almost like she would have thanked me had I told her to go around and meet every single person in that place. By the third time you're there I guess they almost consider you family because I felt like I was when I introduced her as a visitor. One of the ushers gave her a calendar that had a list of all the church events for the year on it. During the service, the pastor had mentioned that there was going to be a church picnic and with everything he called out asking for someone to bring, my daughter would look at me and say, "raise your hand, we can bring that". I guess she thought that if she could get me to commit to bringing something that was her ticket to the picnic. She finally decided I wasn't going to raise my hand and started looking at the calendar they gave her. By the time the service was over, she had picked out fifteen other things she wanted me to let her go to.

It's really strange how we get so busy with our lives, not to mention stressed out and we can forget in less than 24 hours a deal that we have made, especially one we made with God. I think that when God asks you to do something and you decide not to do it, one of the ways he lets you redeem yourself when you break a deal with Him, is by doing the thing that He asked you, except that He makes it very humbling for you to do, but sometimes it can also be very rewarding.

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