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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

We are people who want instant gratification. When we see something we want, we want it right then. Sometimes we put ourselves in debt for things that we want.

Psa 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

I think about so many times when I've thought, okay, now what do You want me to do? Is it time for me to be humble and pray, is it time for me to ask for things I need, is it time to ask for the desires of my heart? Why do we try to control our lives? If we are trying to control and to lead instead of being led, are we happy? Are we not delighted when we see how He is working because we "let go and let God"?

Last night I was thinking of my own spirit as something that needed to be reigned in. I had gone wild and had no sense of direction and I realize this morning, it's not my sense of direction that matters anyway. God knows where I'm going. Why do I feel the need to control the Holy Spirit? My own need to control and know where I'm going had taken away my delighting in what God is doing in my life and in my home. The thoughts of what are these people that I see that are "holier than me" going to think when I speak. At first I thought I needed guidance. God is reminding me that HE is my guide. I have no doubt that my feeling of needing reassurance is somehow leading me to where God wants to work and even though I'm stumbling on the way to get there, my stumbling is somehow allowing God to work in other's lives.

3Jo 1:3 For I rejoiced greatly, when the brethren came and testified of the truth that is in thee, even as thou walkest in the truth.

My mind calculates, thinks, reasons and analyzes at a frightening speed. When God says, "Be still". That's what I need to do is make my mind be still. After all, how am I going to hear Him? I hardly think that He's going to shout over my thoughts especially after He told me once to be still. Then I wonder what I'm supposed to be getting out of all this. I have found when I quit worrying about how I'm going to get the desires of my heart and start worrying about doing what God leads me to do, he takes care of it. Even when the desire of my heart is for people to listen and let their own minds be still so they can hear.


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